How to Stop Settling for Less in Life
Becoming a high value woman isn’t an easy thing to accomplish, especially if men have disappointed you and even broken your heart. Regaining self-confidence is a challenging process for us women but it is totally achievable. This article touches on the secret to build a more confident ‘you’ that makes you the high value woman that you are.
Do you currently work at a job where you feel unappreciated by your boss? Are you frustrated by the lack of promotion in your workplace? Have you been working extra hard yet haven’t gotten a significant pay rise? Do you struggle financially? Do you settle for less-than-stellar pay checks that don’t merit your hard work?
Or are you currently dating someone who doesn’t understand you? Do you feel trapped emotionally in your present relationship? Do you feel like your partner doesn’t value you and doesn’t put in enough effort into your relationship?
If your answer is ‘yes’ to any of the above, then it means you’re stuck in the cycle of ‘always settling for less than you deserve’. The truth is; we’ve all been there at some point in our lives. We’ve experienced these two different scenarios one way or another and felt like we have no control over the outcome. So why do we feel this way; why do we struggle for less than we deserve?
Why Many Women Settle for Less
It’s the fear that gets us. Our minds are tricky and can lead us astray if we overthink our current situations. For instance, when we try to get out of belittling situations, our minds project our fears in really meaningful, yet unhelpful manners.
Have a bad job with a mean employer, you start to think: “How will I cope financially without this job?”
In an unfulfilling relationship, you think again: “I don’t want to be lonely or want to have to go on dates again.”
The problem lies in our mindset and these negative thoughts that are based on fear. Not only do these fears limit us, they dehumanise us and make us settle for less when we could be living a life full of joy, love and fulfilment. So how exactly can end this cycle? How can we shrug off unwanted situations and live our lives the way we want? Here’s how…
How to Protect Your Dignity in a Relationship
Do you find yourself in an unfulfilling relationship or marriage but you’re unwilling to end it? Do you hope for things to get better because you’re afraid of being single? We understand; we’ve all been there. But the truth is, if your romantic relationship lays your insecurities bare and messes up your judgement, it’s probably best you leave.
Unfortunately, many women make concessions for partners who are wrong for them—someone who either doesn’t respect their opinions, cheating on them or addicted to drugs. If this is you, then you definitely need to jump ship. Here are some ways to start being a high value woman and stop settling for less in a relationship.
- Regain Self-awareness: Take some time to think about your choices in partners. Be honest with yourself, has your selection of partners been good? Do you examine your partner’s commitment to your personal and emotional needs before dating them? If not, then you should distance yourself a little to regain your lost self-awareness. Counseling or reading can help with this.
- Conquer the Fear of Being Single: Nobody ever died from being single. Being single does not mean loneliness. So stop setting relationship goals based on friends or family members who seem to have met their soul mates. Appearances can be deceiving—some relationships are not as healthy as they seem. Being single doesn’t change who you are; you’re golden.
- Focus on Your Passion: Not everything has to revolve around finding soul mates; these come with time. Your destiny is not tied to any man. In fact, being single comes with many pleasures. For instance, you could focus that energy on watching tutorials about your passion; reading your favourite books; or chasing your career. Rather than seek for a partner, why not search for something you love—something you’re passionate about.
- Set a Standard for Mutual Respect: Look for partners who respect you for who you are. If a person respects you, they will be more vested in your interests; most importantly, they will enjoy spending time with you.
- Find An Understanding Partner: If someone is truly meant for you, they’ll accept your flaws and shortcomings. You should feel safe in a relationship that allows you to freely express your desires, feelings and thoughts without the fear of rejection.
- Don’t Sacrifice Your Values: A quick reference to #1, self-awareness keeps you apprised of your core values. Your core beliefs are important and you should stand by them. If something bothers you, speak up. Be assertive to your partner and confidently communicate your needs. ‘I’ statements are more assertive than ‘You’ statements. For example, if you want to pass a point across to your partner, start with ‘I would like…’ and not ‘You don’t…’
- Seek Committed Partners: When someone is vested in a relationship, they show that by keeping to their words. There must be consistencies in your partner’s words and actions. A person committed to the relationship shows that daily. If you don’t see the evidence of commitment, don’t settle!
Never Settle for a Job| What to Do
I understand that the money must be made and bills paid, but is do you really want to be trapped in an unfulfilling job for the rest of your life? Certainly not, it’s out of the question. The fear of being financially incapable has made many women jump on the first offer and become long-term employer pleasers. Before committing to a job that may undermine your value, here are some questions to ask:
- Who are your Co-workers? Are they the type of people you can invite to a family dinner? Do they discuss career growth? If they aren’t reconsider your options.
- Does Your Job Have Growth Opportunities? A good company cares for its employees by organising educational programs, issuing frequent promotions and encouraging career advancements. Don’t settle for less than this in any job.
- Does this Line of Work Motivate You? Do you see yourself working in that company a year from now? Are you motivated and emotionally vested in the work? These questions are important.
- What are the Benefits? Things like salary, health benefits and allowances are important. If you’re working extra hours without compensation, then that’s not the job for you.
The greatest threat to your value is the ‘people pleasing’ complex. It’s a pattern that may have emanated from your childhood, but it can be changed. People pleasing ruins your self-esteem and is the reason many women settle for less in relationships and at work. No one will respect you if you devalue yourself.
So take charge of your life today, think positive and become the high value woman you are destined to be.